I Should Probably Close The Door While I Pee

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I have some pretty amazing habits. Tyler would call them "bad" habits but I like to refer to them as neutral. 
Sometimes I...totally dig for gold in the car. I can't help it if I can't breathe!
Sometimes I...will argue with a person on TV. I'm sorry, but people are so wrong.
Sometimes I...have trouble mustering up sympathy for others. Oh you have a headache? Big whoop. Someone in a 3rd world country with no Midol, clean water, or access to a Brazilian wax is having their "time of the month". 

Usually Tyler will just roll his eyes and maybe even scoff at my me-ness. Over time, he has learned to accept me for who I am. This woman is set in her ways! But there's one habit that maybe I should break for the sake of humanity.

See, I have a habit of not shutting the door when I pee. I don't know what it is, but it just feels so darn good. It's like, "This is me, biotches! Let me not be confined to an enclosed room whilst I relieve myself."

Of course, I close the door when guests are over most of the time and when I have to go #2, you have about a 50/50 chance, so I wouldn't say my habit is THAT bad.

So as I was openly peeing this morning, Tyler contemptuously said, "You know, there are these things invented called 'doors' that people close when they go to the bathroom"

"I don't have to!" I retorted, "The only people that come downstairs is you and Jack and since Jack has come outta this (referring to my muffin bits) and you've seen this, I don't really need to. Plus maybe you should just not come into the bathroom when you hear pee noise and so obviously know that I'm doin' business. You creeper."

Defeated and still scoffing, he walked away. Ha, I won! I don't need no stinkin' door.

The day proceeded as normal until it became time for our usual bedtime routine. As Jack was taking a bath and Tyler was flossing his teeth and wandering around, I thought, Dang, I'm peeing a lot today, I need to go again and proceeded with my usual habit.

Mid stream, my mother-in-law walked right past my open-door pee to get something stored in the basement

"Oh! Oh...um, don't mind me, I'm just peeing here! Uh, maybe I should close the door" 

I do this awkward "reach for the door" thing and realize that the door is a little too out of reach without getting off the toilet. I end up having to stand up, with my pants fully down, and shut the door, no doubt dripping pee on the toilet seat.

Of course, Tyler was within hearing distance and for the rest of the night, he had a smirk on his face. Thank goodness it was only my mother-in-law. We be tight. We so tight, she didn't even blink an eye at the sight of me peeing in the open...maybe we're too tight...

 I should maybe think about shutting the door.

What bad habits do you have?






12 comments :

Jenna said...

I do it, too. It helps that we now have a separate room for the toilet, so it feels private even with the door wide open. Haven't had any people see me without my consent, though. How funny!

Ann Barlow said...

I'm glad I've reached the beyond just a guest stage. The only reason I know, is because whenever I visited, you would pee with the door wide open.

Chevron andLace said...

I too am an open door pee-er for the most part...
My really bad/embarrassing habit, however, is that sometimes I forget that guests are over and I fart... right out loud for everyone to hear. What do I do when that happens, you ask? Well, most of the time, I just act like nothing happened...

deckardcanine said...

My mom once said she would maintain her privacy in the bathroom as a parent. A present parent laughed. Sure enough, when I was old enough to walk around but too young to stand being separated for long, she got in the habit of peeing with the door open. It took ages for her to stop, long after I started getting embarrassed by it.

StylinMom said...

Stopping by from SITS!
Funny post....I came from a family with an open door policy...but somewhere along the line I became a private pee-er....lol
Great blog!
M

Kristin Leamy said...

ahahahahaha! Sometimes I pee with the door open, but only in our bathroom. We live with the inlaws, but I am not close enough to them to be ok with that. AT all.

Kathy Penney said...

i have been married 7 years and can attest, the longer you are together, the less mystery you will have. :-) You're on the right track. Stopping by from SITS.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I happened on this blog. I thought I was the only one. I hate being in that little room with the door closed. I was so relieved when all the kids moved out that I could finally leave the door open, but they've moved back! I tell them to just shut their eyes if they don't want to see me peeing. It's not really that big a deal - not like seeing their parents having sex:-) We close the door for that!

Mikelle Jade {The Honeypie Archives} said...

haha this is hilarious. I don't mind having the door open, but my husband is weird about it and always tells me to shut it. He's getting better about it! In our old apartment where we had one bathroom he wouldn't even pee if I were in the shower, and would freak out if I came into pee while he was showering! He at least calmed down about that--- because it was getting really hard to hold!

Tasha said...

I am definitely a private pee'er. My worst bad habit is probably biting my fingernails. I just can't help it, most of the time I don't even notice I'm doing it.

Stopping by from SITS.

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

my husband is way weird about this too and I just don't get it! hahaha I never shut the door! haha

Jessica Grace said...

My relationship is the complete opposite, my boyfriend thinks its awesome to make people uncomfortable. At our old house he would even find a way to jimmy the lock open when I was in the rest room and say surprise. I have a nervous bladder and I use to get so mad. We where playing around a few months ago and we broke the lock on the bathroom door so I have gotten so use to him now I just shrug it off when he talks to me while I'm in the restroom.